Trapped

Stuck in a washing machine but laid out flat, on reflection maybe its a scanner, but the doors are all closed and I cant feel my toes and my head feels like its been hit with a hammer. I can see everyone out there, sympathetic eyes, all telling little white lies about how they’re coping just fine, and as their hands touch mine, I see it and I feel it and I know its going on, but I scream and a shout but something’s gone wrong. I open my mouth but the sounds not coming out, somebody has put me on mute, I want to say I see you all but the rooms filling up, one more man in a suit. And my arms are pinned down and I cant move my legs, theres no obstruction there, the message just wont send from my head. “Amy, this is your mom” a nurse explains, as if I don’t recognise the woman by whom I’ve been raised, but I do and I see her and I see the nurse too, if I could only tell you how much I knew, let me out this machine, stop filling it up, I don’t need more liquid, you’re spilling over the cup, please stop telling me what I obviously know, I see all around me, if only I could show. I’m banging on the glass, I want to be heard, I’m screaming and crying, back to scared little girl. You see the tears rolling down my face, you keep telling me I’m in this strange scary place, I can see where we are, its a cruel machine, the sheets are too white and the floors are too clean, this is not home, wheres my teddy, my bed, I know I’m in hospital, I know theres something wrong with my head. I know that you’re worried and I’m just as scared as you, I would love to tell you if only I could move. The glass is clear and you can see through, you can see me and I can see you, the problem is though, you can talk and walk, I on the other hand am like a baby just delivered by stork. I cannot walk or shout or scream, I cannot turn this nightmare into a dream. I am in a trap and I can see the way out, but there’s nothing I can do, as it’s strength I’m without. I’m frightened and fighting but just can’t get out, please let me scream, when will someone hear me shout?